According to the Office of National Statistics, an estimated 1.5% percent of the population of the UK is bisexual. In the US, two thirds of Gen Z LGBT+ people are bisexual, and yet it remains an identity shrouded in stigma. Why is this?
Bisexuality is often the subject of undeserved discourse, both within the queer community and outside of it: people insisting that the term excludes trans and nonbinary people, bisexual women being the subject of constant fetishisation, bisexual men being downright ignored. The first is a frustrating misunderstanding of the language and the last two are just plain ridiculous. For whatever reason in society, bisexuality is viewed as a feminine trait (as is fluidity generally), perpetuating harmful stereotypes and erasing the diverse experiences of individuals of all genders.
Oppressors argue that people can’t be bisexual whilst also including trans and nonbinary identities in their orientation because the prefix ‘bi’ literally means two, emphasising the gender binary. But, to me, saying “bisexuality implies the existence of only two genders” makes about as much sense as saying “bilingual people imply the existence of only two languages.” The second statement is laughable, yet many still insist that the first statement is true.
Despite bisexual people representing a considerable portion of the LGBT+ community, misconceptions aplenty persist around sexual promiscuity, perceived “greediness”, and the idea of the identity as a placeholder that will eventually lead to one coming out as gay. Indeed, there is a gender divide here too, with men more likely to be seen as suppressing their alleged “true identity”, whereas women may be seen more as simply experimenting: dabbling.
These ideas are revealing of the true problem: the erasure of the bisexual experience by whatever means necessary. As an asexual person, I can relate. (Honestly, I think that the bisexual and asexual struggles for visibility have an absolute ton in common, but that’s for another time.)
But that doesn’t answer the question of why and, more importantly, what we can do to stop it.
The ‘why’ element of this question could be a whole discussion of its own, relating back to the invention of homosexuality and the socially constructed nature of sexuality as a whole, but the ‘what we can do’ part of the question is the more essential and obvious one to answer. Respecting bisexual identities must involve not framing bisexuality in opposition to pansexuality, but instead acknowledging the nuances that come with both of these orientations, as well as the role that m-spec people have played in LGBTQIA+ acceptance throughout history. As a community, we should strive to transcend these misconceptions, live authentically as ourselves and accept others when they do the same. That’s the main takeaway.
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